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je n'ai pas oublié
les jours tristes sans toi
[ 7.30.07] Mon @ 5:32 PM - you don't need one word to talk to me
Hello, hello ♥ Today is Monday, blah, but let's try to have a good day anyway!

I uploaded a new song for download on the sidebar. It's called King of Silence by Cibo Matto. Lately, I've really been just LOVING Cibo Matto, they are my newest crush So if you get a chance, download that song. It's my favorite. It reminds me of my boyfriend for some reason. I'm not sure how to explain Cibo Matto really, I'm not even sure what genre they are.

Speaking of weird music that I like, I also uploaded a Kahimi Karie album for my uncle Sal, but if anyone else wants to download it, feel free to check it out here. It's a megaupload link. It's Kahimi's K.K.K.K.K. album, but only disc 1. It's really a great album, I love it very much. Kahimi Karie is a Japanese lady who moved to Paris, so she sings in French & English, it's so cute. Her funny Japanese-French accent. The music is pop, it's very YUKI-ish, so check it out.

I'm afraid that's all the presents I have for now. As for other things going on... Well, there isn't much really happening I've quit Victoria's Secret, so I don't have to work there anymore. I was looking for some new places to work, and there are two potential winners for my employment. One, and the most likely candidate, is Panera. They seem nice there & the atmosphere seems pretty chill. They also said I can only be a cashier if that's what I want. The other is the Sears Portrait Studio, but I'm not sure about them. They won't give me as many hours as Panera and the job seems much harder... I'd have to pretty much be a photographer, so I'd take pictures of people and then sell them to them. It seems really tough!

I was having some sad times last week, but this is a whole new week and the problems of yesterday are gone. Things are looking much better, if not, evening out to "not so bad." Well, that's all for today.
[ 7.27.07] Fri @ 8:07 PM - qu'est-ce que tu veux que je te fasse?
It's been a while since my last post. My paid account expired today, which is too bad but I don't really need one anymore anyway. I hardly update.

Anyhow, these days I'm not home very much, so I'm not on the computer very much. Jon has internet but instead of it being hooked up to his computer, it's hooked up to the Xbox (of course). He doesn't like to switch the cables around, so we never use the internet there. I'm becoming a frequent visitor over there, I even moved some clothes there. It seems like I hardly sleep in my bed at home anymore at all, but I wouldn't say I live with Jon. I'm just... a very very frequent visitor. I think that me moving in would be strange for him, probably. I don't know if he wants that. I wouldn't mind so much, except it'd be a longer walk to work

Things have been going really well with us though, I really have no complaints. There is no drama, minimal problems. It's so wonderful

I'm getting a job soon, maybe Panera or Sears Portrait Studio... Wish me luck.
[ 7.17.07] Tue @ 3:55 PM - too much fighting on the dance floor
Psh. This sucks. My parents are back, and there has been nothing but drama since then. They made my brother & I fight when if they had just left things alone, we would have eventually resolved things. Now my dad's worried because I am not motivated and don't like college. Who likes college? He's pressuring me to take classes this fall and get my shit in order. I don't want to.

I want to crawl in a hole.

Jon's mom was also in town for a couple days, so we didn't get to see each other for two days. That about killed the both of us, lol. I'm glad that things are going well with us though.
[ 7.07.07] Sat @ 11:54 PM - gotta take the power back
Man, where to start? I've been out & having lots of fun these days, gotta live it up before the 'rents come back home. They're coming back on the 16th of THIS month, gah I'm not all about that. I mean, I'm glad to see them again, but living with them is going to be very strange... I hope that things won't really change, that I'll stay over at Jon's however much I want and they will just have to shrug and go with it. I really hope they don't make me come home every night~ but knowing mom specially, they might

Didn't do much on the 4th, but I did go see the fireworks with Mr. Lover Face & Brad's family. It was fun to hang out with them, Jon even made some shrimp. We also watched Star Wars, I think... The next day was complete laziness, I think.

Despite my job troubles, things are going pretty fabulous still, so that's good. My brother came to town yesterday with his girl & her best friend. I'm not sure what they were doing, I wasn't at home when they got here at all. I saw them a little bit on Friday, and a bunch today. My brother was kind of mean to Jon when he came, it was weird. My brother's never usually a jerk with my boyfriends at all, but I guess my boyfriends are not usually older than me and driving my dad's car when he's not around, haha. My brother had a BIG problem with Jon driving daddy's car, but dad knew about it and even thought it was funny that my brother was being so paranoid about it.

Wow, and now some friends people are acting strange. It's been a bloody stupid day...

Ooh, I forgot to mention that goodbyetokyo is my new gaming journal. I just started it, so there isn't much there.
[ 6.27.07] Wed @ 10:02 PM - andrew is in my shower right now
My horoscope for today:
You continue to be so sweet and gentle that you can lose yourself in the relationships that rule your life. It's time to let your partner know what you are really feeling. Although there's no need to go overboard, you don't need to be afraid to express your needs. If you don't let others know what you want, they can't know what to give you.
I'll be sure to keep that in mind.
Well, now I'll talk about how I feel about this whole rejection business. Don't worry, it's nothing crazy. I'm actually relieved about it, to be completely honest. The thing that upset me the most about that email was that they addressed me by my first name only, that doesn't show like... professional respect. My last name, Miss Alina, something like that at least. It's too casual otherwise. Hell, I don't know that lady, I'm not going to send her a letter and address her as Karen or whatever. Oh well, it's really not a big deal.

The thing I feel the worst about is having spent all that money at Iowa State for art supplies, housing, food, etc... I bet my parents are disappointed, even if they are being supportive. That's my real only regret, letting them down. The only thing that makes me think, "I wish I could have done better," is when I have them in mind. But really, I don't feel so bad about it if I don't think about them. Hell, I tried. That's all I can really do and I did my best. Well, I suppose that grade-wise I didn't do my best, but content-wise it was all there. It's my fault, I mean, the GPA was 60% of the judging for the graphic design program. I personally think that's bullshit and that it should solely be content based, but I don't run the university and they probably know better. I just wish that if only they'd judge me on something that had to do with graphic design, like the things I can actually do and I'm good at, I would have had a better chance.

Enough about that. Now I have to decide what major to switch to when I transfer to Iowa.
1) English
2) TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language)
3) Art something (I could continue to pursue graphic design with a less prestigious major)

I somehow feel that the CORE program at Iowa State sucked out my love for art classes. The whole time I was in those things I HATED them. I hated the teachers; I hated how pretentious and snobby they were, like the fact that their program is good went to their head and they're completely full of it. The whole time I took Design 102 I was either angry or COMPLETELY apathetic because I could care less about making shit out of paper and building doorways. Fuck that, I kept on thinking. I actually loved Design 131 because that was the drawing course, that actually improved my drawing skills. I feel like I got something out of that class, and possibly because I had the least pretentious teacher in the whole faculty! Seriously, she must have been hired by mistake. Design 183 was a complete joke/waste of time. I hated that class and got nothing out of it. They say you get out what you put in, but really... This was a joke.

So, I may give up design forever. I could see myself becoming an English teacher, I mean, when I think back at it, in high school and even before that, all I wanted to do was become a writer. But I'm better at design than I am at writing, so I felt I should pursue what I was best at instead of what I might like better. Also, you should probably enjoy the classes that are required for your major, right? I mean, I had a lot of fun taking English 105, I loooved that class. I also loved my Anthropology class (and was in love with my teacher, haha). My philosophy class wasn't so bad either. The classes you hate are probably things you should steer away from...
[ 6.25.07] Mon @ 6:22 PM - they're too pretentious anyway
Dear Alina,
I regret to inform you that on the basis of Core gradepoint average, portfolio, and essay review, you have not been admitted to the program or programs of your choice. A thorough review by the faculty took place. Selection was based on scholarship, review of studio work, and the essay.

Advisors from each department within the College of Design are available throughout the summer to discuss alternatives within the College or in other programs in the university. We strongly suggest that you contact your advisor to set up an appointment. We will make every effort to help you arrange a satisfactory program of study leading to the most timely graduation date possible.

If you still wish to pursue the program you applied to, you have the option to improve and resubmit your work, and/or to repeat courses to improve your gradepoint average and portfolio, prior to the Spring 2008 review. Please discuss this with your advisor.

While the outcome of this review undoubtedly is disappointing to you, there are many programs of study in and out of the College that can provide you with rewarding educational and professional opportunities. We stand ready to help you plan a program of study that best suits your educational goals.


Kate Schwennsen, FAIA
Associate Dean for Academic Programs
[ 6.24.07] Sun @ 7:47 PM - this is really fun
I'm really into these meme things lately.

Start off by picking your 10 fave recording artists without looking at the questions behind the cut. (In no particular order for me.)

01. Jamiroquai
02. Belle & Sebastian
03. Pixies
04. GLAY
05. Ladytron
06. David Bowie
07. The Smiths
08. Arctic Monkeys
09. Franz Ferdinand
10. The Strokes

now the questions...Collapse )

[ 6.22.07] Fri @ 1:40 PM - goes to show you never can tell
my heart, joyous, is freeCollapse )
[ 6.15.07] Fri @ 7:13 PM - 'cause baby, it's you
Things are good today I got a lot of stuff done, so now I don't have that lingering feeling of "the dishes must be washeeeed~ they are piling up~ oooooh." I did the dishes, I cleaned the cat litter, I cleaned the bathroom, and I did laundry.

Heh, while I was doing laundry, I stumbled upon some items that aren't even mine. I dunno why that makes me feel happy Just washing and folding my boy's shirts is a happy task, almost like a fun secret. You can pretend that you're not in school or nineteen or anything crappy, just that you're cleaning the house and washing your sweetie's shirts.

I wish I didn't have to go to school. I don't like it and I'm a bad student. I know I need to go in order for me to have any kind of a future, etc... I know. I know all about that. But I don't have to like it.
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